The Beginners Guide to Meditation

If you’ve struggled to start meditating, here’s the secret that will change everything.

So you wanna start meditation? I’ll show you how.

First: Stop reading this.

Okay, well.

Read this and then stop.

Real First:

Go somewhere quiet-ish.

Sit or lay down in a way you don’t hate.

Next:

Set a timer.

For one minute. Or two. Or five. Or a hour if you’re a masochist.

Then:

Close your eyes.

Breathe.

Hate it.

Literally.

HATE. EVERY. MOMENT.

Every time you hate it, keep your eyes closed and keep breathing.

Don’t stop hating it.

Just hate it.

Do this until your timer dings.

CONGRATS! YOU’VE BEGUN TO MEDITATE!

Sure. There will be benefits.

Sure there will be daisies and butterflies.

Sure. Someday.

All you have to do right now, is decide:

Decide to sit, or lie down in a way you don’t hate.

Set a time for an amount of time you don’t hate.

And then close your eyes and breathe and allow yourself to—

—hate it—

until the bell rings.

And keep hating it…

Until you don’t.

Might be sooner than you think.

Smooches,

Lynn